


I Want You

by Arnima



Category: bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Confused Namjoon, DOES SHE LOVE HIM BACK?, F/M, Fluff, For entertainment, HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BTS, Heterosexual Sex, I PURPLE ARMYS, NAMJOON FELL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL, NOT FOR DELULUS, ONLY FOR ARMYS, Physical Abuse, Possessive Kim Namjoon | RM, Protective Bangtan Boys, STREAM PERSONA, TOO HET, TRAUMA AFTER ABUSE, True Love, let's get this bread
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-05 23:12:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18838720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arnima/pseuds/Arnima
Summary: “No! Leave me alone!” I scream. “I want you to leave right now! Right this second! Leave!”“Why? I am not-”“Yes, you are leaving! Just fucking go, okay?”I'm frustrated now, he should have left when I told him the first time to.“Why are you.... Wait. Nia. Baby?"I hang my head in shame.Baby….I always go weak when he calls me that."Please, don't do this. We can talk about it, okay? Everything is going to be fine. We're going to be fine. It will stay the same. I'll take care- ”"No!" I say louder. "Namjoon, I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore. Let's break up. THIS is break up. I need you to leave my apartment.”There's a long pause and the silence is deadly.“I love you, Nia.” He says and my lips quiver.God please…“Leave," I say, gathering every bit of the strength I have left.“Okay,” his reply comes and my heart drops.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fanfiction! Namjoon will be paired with a girl in this one. It's a work of fiction so please enjoy it and let me know how you liked it! 
> 
> The story is in the alternative universe. He's the leader of the biggest boy band in the world, but changes can and will be made according to the plot of the story.
> 
> I would love to interact with you guys as well! So feel free to leave any comments!
> 
> Omg this is my first fan fiction. I'm so nervous.
> 
> AKAKJDJDJDKDKKX
> 
> And to my bias, Namjoon. I love you and I respect you so much. If by accident you ever come across my fanfiction, I want you to know that I'll never sexualize you, or any other BTS member. I love the 7 of you so much!  
> So Joonie, I hope you don't cringe when you read this ff - which I know you won't, since my fanfictions will not be for Y/Ns and delulus. It's for armys who want to see you with the love of your life. Who want to see you marry the love of your life - doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl. I have not assumed your sexuality in this fan fic, this fanfic is work of fiction and that's it. Nothing more than that. 
> 
> We as fans will never know how it goes with your real life partner. I don't want to know how it goes, but I want the fans and the media to leave you two love birds alone. So please understand the respect and adoration I have for you as I write this.
> 
> This fanfiction is piece of my art. I hope readers enjoy it and, thank you, Joon. For everything that you've done for us fans.
> 
> I purple you. 💜

I run as fast as I can and the moment I'm inside my room, I slam the door shut and grapple to find the lock. It clicks into the right place and I turn, my back facing the door as I stare into the darkness in my room, my hands still behind me on the door handle. 

I can't. I can't. I can't. 

I can't. I can't fucking do this to him.

Namjoon doesn't deserve this. I gulp and blink back the tears. What he saw, I try to picture it and I gasp. I close my eyes real hard to erase the image and shake my head violently. 

No. No. I can't.. He shouldn't…

He doesn't deserve this. I can't do this anymore. He's better than this. How can I face him after I..? It isn't fair.

Tears are falling down my cheeks, I look up at the ceiling, staring at absolutely nothing but thinking a thousand things. 

Holy fuck, It actually happened. I didn't mean to, I swear. I swear, I…

My lips tremble and I force them against each other so that I don't burst out crying. 

Why? Why did this have to happen?

It was going so well. Life was going SO WELL. 

“I hate myself,” I yell at myself as I finally let myself cry. With the first sob my shoulders shake, and I lean against the door, pressing my hands against my mouth. 

I hate myself. 

I hate myself.

I hate myself.

I love him so much. 

I cry harder. It becomes difficult to breathe. 

I hear something in the background, something over my loud sobs, I try to stop crying and find myself heavily breathing. The noise becomes clearer. Someone is banging on the door of my room.

"Nia! Are you crying?” 

It's him. It's Namjoon. 

Fuck. 

He needs to leave. 

I wipe my tears and cover my face with my hands and the second they're on my face I jerk back, reminded of what happened today. 

Fuck fuck fuck….

“Nia! What happened? Open the door!”

I get up on my shaky legs but don't open the door.

“Open the door, let me in.”

No, I whisper.

“Nia?” The concern in his voice, fuck, I almost start crying again. 

“No,” I say, my voice comes out groggy. I take a deep breathe, and exhale. I sniff as I turn to face the door. “Namjoon, you need to leave.”

“I was just making dinner for us, why won't you tell me what ha-” There's an abrupt pause and I hold my breath.

I slap my mouth with my left hand, fuck it's coming again. The fresh wave of tears. But i need him to leave. I can't do this anymore. I can't face him. 

“What?”, his voice is low. 

“Namjoon. I need you to leave me. Alone.”

“No. We won't talk later, I knew something like this was coming. We'll talk now.”

“No, Namjoon.” My breath is uneven and I cover myself with my arms. “You need to leave the apartment right now. Leave.”

“What…are you saying?” He's hesitant at first, but not for long. “Open the door, we'll talk. Let me in, we'll talk about it.”

“No! Leave me alone!” I scream. “I want you to leave right now! Right this second! Leave!”

“Why? I am not-”

“Yes, you are leaving! Just fucking go, okay?”

I'm frustrated now, he should have left when I told him the first time to.

“Why are you.... Wait. Nia. Baby?"

I hang my head in shame. 

Baby….

I always go weak when he calls me that.

"Please, don't do this. We can talk about it, okay? Everything is going to be fine. We're going to be fine. It will stay the same. I'll take care- ”

"No!" I say louder. "Namjoon, I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore. Let's break up. THIS is break up. I need you to leave my apartment.”

There's a long pause and the silence is deadly. 

“I love you, Nia.” He says and my lips quiver.

God please…

“Leave," I say, gathering every bit of the strength I have left.

“Okay,” his reply comes and my heart drops.

Wait, no. This is… this is good, right?

“But I'll be back and then we'll talk about it.” I wipe the tear drop on my eyelid and exhale. I hear the footsteps in the living room then, and the jingle of the keys.

He's going to The Burkos. 

The main door shuts close. 

I blink at the door of my room, spin and then run to our closet. It will take him 15 minutes to reach the Burkos. Another 15 to come home, and - my hand freezes at his red t-shirt. My favourite t-shirt. 

Home? 

This isn't his home anymore.

I fist the red t-shirt and throw it away from the pile of his clothes I have gathered on the bed.

And he'll spend one or two hours at the cafe. 

It's enough.

Within one hour I have his things packed. We were living together now, he still has a lot of his things here. Like the painting on our bedroom wall. His favourite painting ever. Taehyung, his childhood best friend had gifted him that. The study table that he bought for me, because mine was old and the chair of which used to bite me in the ass because the set had become too old. The old table was rough around the edges too. 

I look away from my study table and focus on the other things. 

I don't find any. For now, this will do. I drag the bag behind me as I open the lock of the bedroom door and spare a glance at my living room and stop to a halt. My gaze pauses on the couch where we had just been cuddling a few hours ago. I smile at the memory.

The shawl messy and thrown off at the side. I threw it away. I had run to my bedroom. Fresh tears grace my cheeks and I drag his stuff behind me harder. I walk through the main door, to the lift and down to the ground floor. I trip and grab my balance when I reach the security personnel at the entrance of our building. 

Tim swipes his eyes to me and his eyes widen. “Mam, are you okay?” His eyes fall to the luggage behind me, “Are you going somewhere? Namjoon Sir just left an hour or so ago. Is he coming to pick you back up?”

“No. This is his luggage. Don't let him inside the building again. Not even once. Everything he needs is in here,” I point to the the bags with my eyes, “I will send him the rest of his things later. But I'm certain what he'll need immediately is all here. Tell him he's not allowed inside and if he forces his way inside, handle him.”

Tim blanches at what I just said. I know he must be surprised, considering the way he's seen us untill today, anyone would be. The two love birds. The ones who were always smiling. The ones who were always happy. 

One is broken now. 

“Y-yes," he stutters and it's now I think that he's finally noticing my face. I know I look like hell. My eyes must be red, lips swollen, hair unkempt. And most of all, I just told him to "handle Namjoon" if he forces his way inside. 

God, this is such a coward move.

I gulp again, to control the pain in my chest. Will I be relieved if I cry more? It hurts because I'm holding back, right? 

This is a coward move, I tell myself.

I leave Namjoon's stuff with him and turn on my feet.

I stop walking when I hear Tim's question. “Are you sure, Nia? We're not to let him inside the building?”

I watch as Mrs. Campbell step out of the lift, smiling at her daughter Lilly. Namjoon loves this kid. We've babysat her a couple of times. 

Lilly says something and Mrs. Campbell starts searching for something in her purse. She smiles at Lilly and shakes her head. They're going back up. She must have forgotten bringing something along with her.

I slowly turn my head to look at Tim and his mouth falls open. I know my eyes are dead. They're dry and red, and I don't feel well. 

But it's for his best. So it's for the best. I can't stay around him any longer. Nothing can be fixed. And it's not his fault. It never was. He's the angel I stumbled upon a year ago, and he's the love of my life. But, I can't anymore…

He deserves better. And he WILL find another girl, fuck, he's Kim Namjoon. Ofcourse he'll find another girl. There are millions of girls who would die for him to just look at them ONCE.

He'll get over me soon. 

My heart breaks just thinking about his forgetting me so soon. 

But… but it's… it's for his best. It's for the best.

He won't stay alone for longer. They'll start buzzing around him the minute the news gets out that we've broken up. And it will get out.

This time, I drag myself as I resume walking towards the lift in front of me.

Namjoon will never forgive me for this.

“Never.”


	2. The Bonsai Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thank you for reading the chapter and sincerely hope that you enjoy it! :)

[ 10 months ago]

You know a good thing about being in a garden? I feel genuinely happy. I was talking about myself. Yeah. Oh, and I feel fresh! I breathe easy. 

Honestly, I adore Mrs. Campbell for letting me stroll here anytime I want.

After what happened in the class today, I was so stressed. Why are some teachers so rude? Ugh. For a second I just wanted to leave this place and go to Canada to my family. Sometimes, I feel so alone here. 

I walk and smile at the Mugunghwas as I pass them. I keep walking until I reach my usual spot and sit under the big fat tree. I don't even know what kind of tree this is. But its trunk is pretty sturdy, and it gives me immense pleasure to just sit here, lean my head against the trunk and close my eyes. I do it and smile, thisssss is why I love it.

The birds are chirping, the fresh air, the shelter from hard sunlight…

I love it.

I sigh. 

It's a great view from here. The beautiful colourful flowers are gracing the garden and there are trees in the section I'm in. Mrs. Campbell has done great with the garden, I swear.

I bite my lip, and ask myself, "What was her problem though? My teacher makes it sound like I'm too competitive? But I love what I study and that doesn't mean she'll insult me in front of the whole class? No one deserves that. I just suggested that she could let us take the test two days back to back. Thursday and Friday. I mean what's wrong with that? Why did Sam tell me that it was arrogant of me to suggest so? I don't understand. You can just choose not to take the test, skip that class? The tests aren't even that important. No need to call me names. I even came home and cried!” 

I pout and raise my eyebrows. “I can be a good friend, you know? E told me I'm a good friend! I can be a good friend! Just talk to me, I'm even… funny sometimes,” my voice reduces to a whisper at 'sometimes'.

“Lee even told me they talk shit about me behind my back. Then why do they come to me for help? Just ask the teacher if you're having a problem with a topic?”

Selfish assholes.

I rub the ground with my right shoe, the grass around the area becomes thinner and I let my head fall back. I stare at the big green leaves above me and sigh.

<<<

My cell phone buzzes and I move my neck. There's a slight pain in my neck. 

Ouch! For how long was I asleep?

My hand comes around the side of my neck and I start massaging it gently.

Taeyon. It's Taeyon, my classmate/neighbour. Before I can tap on the screen the phone dies down.

“Are you serious?” I mutter as I try to switch the phone back on. A quick glance at my wrist watch says I slept for half an hour. 

I throw my phone in my bag and I get up. I should get back to my apartment, and make myself something to eat.

What does Taeyon want to talk about right now? He frustrates me alot. Why does he keep calling me and texting me uselessly? If he wants to talk about our course or books, it's fine. But he's just too much in my space sometimes.

It's 5 in the evening. But I'm always hungry, so I should go.

Wait!

I turn back to the big fat tree and fold my hands together. I clear my throat before I start praying.

This may sound weird but yeah, I pray sometimes. 

Okay, everytime I'm here. I just…. like it.

“So I know that that energy is everywhere. The energy that made all of us. I believe someone or something made this Universe and I'm so glad to be a part of it. The sky is beautiful. The flowers are heavenly. The night scares me but I won't be scared if my loved ones are with me. Life so far has been going alright, let's keep it that way. Please? And keep everyone happy! E is getting married soon, and she's so in love, I want all the good things for her! I want my best friend's wedding to be a blast! And please take care of my parents' health. I'm not with them so I can't take care of them. Take care of my loved ones. I'll forever be grateful.” 

I wish I was with them. I miss my family. 

I open my eyes and stare at the surface of the trunk. I touch the tree. It's hard, a little rough. But it's strong. I guess, like me.

This is why I pray more around nature. It makes me feel like I'm a part of something… something that is bigger than all of us. 

“Okay,” I bite my lip. Now, I can go home. 

<<<<<

Oh wow, it's been a few weeks since I've been here. I grin and wave at the Mugunghwas as I pass by them.

I graze the yellow little ones with my fingers when I pass them. I don't know their name but I love these ones. They're in the section next to the Mugunghwas.

Next comes the roses and I crouch down to smell a bloomed one. My hair falls on my face in the process so I pin them near my ear with my fingers temporarily, and smell the flower.

Heavenly. It's so pure and fresh. I move my head away from the flower to look down at it and then quickly kiss it.

It's a light kiss, I know not to grope flowers. They're living beings too. 

I get up and shrug the string of bagpack on my shoulder. 

There is my big fat tree. I jog my way to the tree and hug it. “I missed you!” 

I place the bag pack down on the ground and turn to sit under the tree. 

This is great. 

“I'm not going home. Taeyon is gonna be waiting to bombard me with his questions and I don't feel like studying right now. I can't say no to him, it's good to help people out you know? But he's just so… he texts and calls me alot and even knocks on my door when I don't answer his phone. I mean,” I drink some water from my water bottle, “leave me alone when I want you to, I don't ever say no to him when he wants help with a subject, just don't be so… clingy.”

 

I straighten my legs out and sigh as the muscles relax in my calves. My shoulders droop and my eyes close in pleasure. 

My brows furrow as my cell phone buzzes. I look at the screen and it's… E! I immediately pick it up.

“Hey!!!!!!” She's so chirpy. My best friend is getting married and she. is. on. cloud. nine!

“Hey, best friend! Do you wanna meet this weekend? Before you get booked for life and I,” I point to myself even though I know she can't see me, “can only book you when you're free of him?”

I wiggle my eyebrows and my tone is playful. 

“I miss you, N!! But I'm so damn tired, it just never ends. It's never ending. I want it to stop. I have still so many things to do but I'm tired.” Oh well, she's getting married after all. These things are bound to happen when you're getting married. But she's getting married to the love of her life, so, maybe it's a little easier. 

“So, we can't meet?” I ask.

“Nia, I'm getting married this weekend.”

There's silence on the line and I don't speak. 

Then we both burst out laughing at the same time. 

We used to meet every weekend before her boyfriend came into the picture. It's been a year and I'm still not over how much fun we used to have every weekend. We never shared the same Universities and we were so busy with our own schedules, but we made a point to meet every week. Not because we had to, but also because we wanted to. 

“You're…” I wipe the tear from my right eye, “You're getting married.” It's I who whine this time. 

“Yeah," she whispers softly. 

I miss you, I say in my mind.

I can't say it to her. If she thinks I'm too upset she'll leave her fucking wedding preparations to see me. And she has a lot to do, so nope. No sad talks. Even though I do miss her loads and my mood is good today, I miss her. 

“I can't wait to see you there!” She exclaims. 

“Same, babe. I'm so happy for you! You always wanted this! You wanted to marry the love of your life. You dreamed of a beautiful wedding! It's here.”

“It's here.” There's a pause and she clears her throat, “It's here and you meet me before anyone else in the morning, okay?? I want you to be here. I'm not nervous now but I'll be nervous then!” She's getting jittery just speaking about it. “Take care of me, okay?”

I chuckle. She's so adorable. “I'll take care of you. I promise. But are you sure you're not nervous now? I-”

“I'm definitely not?!”

“Eva!” I call her by her name and I hear her taking a deep breath.

“Okay! Okay! I got a little nervous, so let's not talk about it until the wedding day.”

“Jesus. Fuck. Babe, we can talk now, I'll listen!” I sit a little straighter. 

Is there anything serious? God, I hope not.

“No, no. Pfff. Ofcourse not. It's just, I love him but, it seems like a dream you know? I'm so happy. But, it all seems too good to be true.”

“Ohh.” I lean back against the tree. “Eva.”

“What?”

“He loves you. You love him. There's no such thing as 'too good to be true'. You guys are going to bicker. You're going to annoy him like you usually do, and he's going to annoy you! But you're marrying him because he will never break you, he'll never hurt you, and you know it, he has proved it in the past, and all the bickering and quarrelling is worth it. It's worth living this relationship. It's worth every difficulty and even I see it. What you guys have is so beautiful and I swear if he ever hurts you I'm going to ruin him.”

I'm crying now. I don't know when my voice became weak but I heard it at the word 'ruin.'

“In your poems,” E retorts and I chuckle. I hear her sniffing too. Oh God! I didn't mean to make her cry!

“You know I'm not a violent person.” I grin at the roses that are a few feet away from me.

“I know. Not even figuratively.” The noise in the background gets louder and someone calls for her. “I'm coming, dad!” She yells, and I flinch. 

Damn, I should have put the phone away. I knew she was going to yell. She is small but her voice is really strong. 

“Nia?” She calls me.

“I know, you need to go. And I love you so if you need any help, do not hesitate to call me. I'll be there for you, okay? I'll come running. I mean it.”

“Aww, I know you do, Sweetie!” There's so much love in her voice. 

I love her so much!

Benjamin better keep her happy! Or else…. 

“I love you, and take care! And see you on Saturday!”

“Yeah, E! Can't wait for that day. Bye!”

“Muaahh! Bye!” I scrunch my nose. She and her phone kisses.

I cut the call and take out my water bottle. After a couple of gulps I pick up my phone to reply to Taeyon's texts.

T: Where are you? Can we study together? 

T: Are you sleeping? I'm not going to disturb you if you're sleeping. :)

T: I knocked on your door but there was no response.

Aaaaand this is why I didn't go home. There are more texts though.

T: You didn't come home. It has been hours since I last saw you.

I blink at the screen of my phone. Why the hell is he behaving like he loves me or something? Ugh.

The last text is from half an hour ago. But just as I am about to reply, another text comes.

T: You can just say no if you don't want to help me. :/ You're too rude sometimes.

I quickly reply to the latest one.

Nia: It's not like that. I was out. I'm coming back, will be there in a few minutes. :)

I turn my head to look at my apartment building. The building that I can clearly see from this garden. 

Oh, I don't mean like it's my building! I just live there. My father owns it not me. I live on the 24th floor and even though my dad wanted me to live in the penthouse, I refused. The penthouse will be too big for me. Lol.

And all the apartments in the building were taken when I came here 3 hears ago. Except my current apartment and the penthouse. So I took the one on the 24th floor.

I look at my texts again. 

“I've only been here for half an hour? And I left the college around an hour ago? What does Rick mean when he says that he hasn't seen me in hours? Hours with an S? Why does everything think of me as a fool?”

I know I'm talking to myself but I don't care.

“I understand things. Don't try to show me what isn't there.” I think about my father who keeps telling me that after him I'll be handling his firm. It will be mine. He has a firm of lawyers, the third most famous and the powerful firm in the country. The S.B.H firm. They fend for powerful CEOs, celebrities, business owners… 

“Don't try to fool me! Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I don't understand them either.” I huff and cover my legs in a circle with my arms. “Just leave me alone. Don't I know that I'm not mean? Or rude? Then why does he keep calling me that?! I do help him when I can! This isn't fair.”

“That's definitely not fair.” A deep voice comes from behind me and I scream bloody murder. 

I shoot up from my spot and run to the rose section. I immediately turn to see what the hell or who it is, now that I think that I'm safely away from the danger.

I see no one for a few seconds. Then a figure appears from behind the tree I was sitting under the shade of! Holy…

It's a man. I blink fast and cover my eyes from the sunlight as I narrow them down to slits to see who he is. 

Grey trousers, red t-shirt, face covered with a mask. He has a black beanie in his head. And he's tall. Taller than me. 

“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” he says from behind the mask.

“Then what the hell were you doing behind the tree?? Are you kidding me?? What kind of behaviour is that?? Are you a stalker or something??” I take a step back and yelp. 

I almost triped on the roses behind me! 

“Jesus. Take it easy. I'm not a stalker.” He says as he slides his hand up around his neck to adjust the headphones.

My shoulders relax a little at that. Oh, I hadn't noticed his headphones before. Maybe… maybe he was on the other side of the tree and was listening to music and didn't know another person was here too. Maybe -

“Do you always talk to yourself?” He asks, with a smile in his voice. 

My back goes straight at that. 

“Excuse me?”

“I'm not judging you. I do it sometimes too.”

There's something about his voice. And the way he speaks, it's so… good. 

He shifts on his feet as if thinking of what to say next. As if… nervous.

“I mean I talk to myself, not to you ofcourse. It's alright, there's nothing wrong with that. I wasn't judging you at all.”

My heart is beating fast now. 

W-wow… His voice is so fucking deep, strong, and beautiful.

I come out of my haze and blink fast when I realise that he isn't speaking anymore.

“Then wh-what were you doing behind the tree?”

Do not stutter! He could still be a stalker! Be strong!

He sighs and after two long steps, he's standing right at where I was sitting a few minutes ago. He puts his hands in the pockets of his grey trousers and my gaze moves up to his arms. His biceps just flexed. It was just for a couple of seconds but I saw it.

Wow…

“I was.. listening to you blabbering,” he says.

I gasp. 

“Did you enjoy yourself then?” I mutter without thinking. 

The mask moves and I see his cheek bones getting higher. He's full on grinning behind the mask.

“I did actually,” he says without a hint of guilt. 

This jerk!

“What the hell??” My eyes are wide and mouth hanging open.

He laughs. Laughs! But I am not even mad. His laugh was cute. And short. And now he's just smiling with those plump cheekbones in my sight. 

This is crazy. For how long has he been here? What did he listen? He hasn't been following me, has he? And why do I want him to take off his mask so that I can see the face of the man whose voice has my heart beat thrumming?!

“I was here because Mrs. Campbell,” he points to the house where the garden ends, “wanted me to look at her Bonsai. She was afraid it was going to die, so I came to take a look. She's my dad's cousin.”

“Ohh,” I say, inching out of the rose section. I was practically inside and had almost stepped on a small rose.

Jeez.

“Yeah, so I thought I'd do some… work before I went back to my studio.”

I tilt my head and see a white screen, which is not so bright since we're standing out in the daylight. It's definitely a laptop. I can't see the whole body but it's there on the ground. Behind the tree. How did I not see it before? I should be more aware of my surroundings.

“Oh, okay then,” I say slipping the locks of my hair behind my ears. His eyes follow my actions. “Can you pass me my bagpack? I was just leaving.”

He doesn't do anything and just stares at me. I can't read his face because I can't it see it. I can only see his eyes. He has big eyes. 

It's suddenly very hot here. Or have I been standing in the sun for too long?

I look away then look back at him. He's still staring at me. 

I bite my lip and and his eyes follow that too. 

His gaze is making me nervous. 

“Excuse me? My bagpack?” I remind him. 

He blinks once and then leans away from the tree. “Oh, sure.” He picks up my backpack and my cell phone, comes closer and hands them to me. 

“Here”.

“Thanks,” I shrug the straps on and slide my cell phone into my pocket. 

“Oh, well… Bye?” I say and try to smile. The thing is I can't say anything now. My breath is coming heavy. What I did say came out pretty weak too. 

And I have no idea what's the reason.

“See you later,” his mask moves. He's smiling.

I.. am… so.. 

What's with his eyes? He's closer now so I can see them clearly. They're so beautiful. So shiney, so bright, just like stars. No, it's more than that. It's-

”Hello?” he asks as he snaps his fingers in front of me. 

I cock my eyebrow at that. 

“I'm here.”

He chuckles. 

“Was just making sure.”

I roll my eyes and turn to leave. 

What was that? Why am I suddenly giving him attitude? Oh wait. Because he's a stranger and he probably heard me talking on the phone. I massage my temple as I pass the yellow little flowers. I should have known someone was here when I arrived. I'm too much into my own world wherever I go. This can be dangerous!

I freeze on the spot near the entrance of the garden. I turn and my eyes roam over the garden. 

What the hell? Where did he go? 

I turn fully and keep looking for him without moving from my spot. And there, I find him. He is crouched down near the rose section. I bend my body sideways to see what he's doing. 

His hand is patting down the dark brown soil around the roses on the outside of the section. 

Hey, I was just standing there! There's no wire around the flowers to make it a section, all the flowers are planted there in rectangular shape. So you figure it out easily.

I watch him as he finishes evening out the soil and stands up. 

“Hey!” I call him, and he snaps his neck towards me. “What is your name?”

What the fuck??? Why did I just ask him that???

Abort abort abort. 

Nia, leave!

“Wait!” I yell and raise my hand before he says anything. “It doesn't matter because we probably won't see each other ever! Uh.” I'm yelling. He's too far away and I'm totally making a fool out of myself?

He's a stranger and I called him to ask his name but for a second I also wanted his number. 

That's crazy! I haven't even seen his face! I don't know him! And why did I believe him when he said that he was Mrs. Campbell's relative?? 

Maybe he's just here without asking her. She knows me and she knows I come her whenever I want because she allowed me to. But how do I know same is the case with him? I mean I just believed whatever he said.

I should NOT ask for his number.

“I'll be going now! Give Mrs. Campbell Bonsai lessons so that you don't have to come here everytime she's worried about her plants! Okay bye!”

With that, I turn and run out of the garden at my full speed. 

THAT WAS INSANELY STUPID!

WHY AM I RUNNING?

HOLY SHIT, I'M STUPID. I JUST SAID ANYTHING THAT CAME TO MY MIND AND MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF?!

DASHI RUN, RUN, RUN!!!

I hear his loud laugh echoing through the garden and Oh my god, I'm never going back there again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the grammatical mistakes if you found any! Stay tuned for the next chapter. I'll update soon! :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nia is still struggling with her pull towards the guy she met in the garden!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS PLEASE before reading the chapter !
> 
> Sam who was Nia's friend - His name has been changed to "Lee"
> 
> And Rick's name has been changed to "Taeyon"
> 
>  That's it. I hope you enjoy reading the chapter!

I scrunch my nose at the painting in front of me. 

There's a … fish. Hanging from a branch. Of a tree! The fish is very colourful. It is deep blue around the eyes but the blue quickly merges into sliver and then yellow. The yellow merges into a major chunk of green, which turns into dark brown and finally around the tail, it's red and pink, with a hint of white. It hangs not by the hook but by a leaf from a branch. And the branch is the deepest blue. And so is the tree. 

What in the world….

I look around me and notice the people. They're so amazed at the paintings around us. 

I think I don't understand art. 

I'm here for Benjamin though. E said it was a big day for him so I had to come. Now, where's E?

I dial her number and put the cell phone on my ear.

Benjamin is an artist. But this is the first time that I've been here at one of his galleries. I'm not really interested in art, but E said this will be our last meeting before she gets married so I came.

“Hello?” She chirps.

“Ya! Where are you? I've been here for… exactly 5 minutes.”

“You are where?!” She asks incredulously.

I blink at the painting in front of me. 

“I am at Benjamin's gallery? I-”

“Oh my God. You came??? I just left half an hour ago! And I thought you weren't coming!” She hurriedly explains. “When I called you in the morning to ask if you'd like to come, first of all, you were sleeping and second, you said you were really tired and had to study with Rick. Your voice was also very groggy so I took it as a No….”

Oh my God..

It's weird but I can hear plates clattering in the background. 

“It's okay, I'll come back I-” there's a pause and she speaks in the background, “No mom, I don't like the pattern on this one.”

“E!”

“Yeah, Nia! I'm sorry! But wait, I think I can come ba-”

“No! No, listen,” I cut her off and say.  “You don't need to come back. I'll meet Benjamin and tell him that I really like his work. I'll congratulate him and leave, it's no big deal.”

“Do you, though?”

“What?” I ask. I'm walking towards the white painting at the end of the hall. It's the  most beautiful thing I've seen here. I see silver sprinkles on the white painting from afar. 

Damn, there are a lot of people here.

“Like his paintings?”

I think before I speak. 

“He is a very successful painter. I like some of his paintings very much even though I don't understand any of his paintings. But he also said it was okay and I didn't have to. Art isn't always comprehendiible.”

There's a pause before she speaks.

“I'm marrying an asshole. He could have just told you the meaning behind his damn paintings!! What's with the art isn't comprehensible shit?!”

Fuck.

I throw my head back and laugh.

Oh my God!

It takes me almost a minute. But I stop laughing.

“E. Stop," I say, grinning wildly. I watch the white painting in front of me. It's really beautiful. 

I don't know what the fuck it is.

“No, no! Tell me, when did he say that to you? Where was I?” Her tone is playful and I know she's grinning too.

“I don't remember the time. Probably a few months back. Uh..” I try to recall the name of the street we were on and what we ate that day to remind her the moment. “Remember the South Street? Where you had spilled the soda on yourself? And then you went to washroom to clean your grey jacket?”

“Oh my!! Yes!! Ben had spilled soda -” she cuts herself off before she continues, “Yah! It was Ben who had spilled soda on my blazer!”

“Yeah, that, sorry. So when you had went to the washroom, I asked him to show me what he was working on and he showed me a few of his pieces.”

“Ahhh, what a jerk,” she huffs.

“He is not! He's the nicest person ever! And if he was a jerk I wouldn't let you marry him, remember? I told you that I would never let you marry a man with flaws? Flaws included being a rude jerk?”

“Yeah. But he's also flawed in the right places. There are some that annoy me, and there are mine that annoy him, but it's all worth living the relationship.”

“Awww, babe.” I say softly. “Exactly .”

“So, Miss Nia. Do you want me to come? I'm just half an hour away. We were shopping tea sets actually.”

“The things you have to do when you get married.”

“Yeah,” she says regretfully. 

“No, it's okay. I won't be staying here longer anyway.”

I spin on my feet and finally start looking for Benjamin. 

“Oh, I found him!” I see him a few  feet away talking to a bunch of people. He's dressed formally. Aaand he looks super rich.

“Okay, go talk to him and then text me when you leave the place, okay? Text me again when you reach home.”.

“Alright, E. Okay,  I'm off now! Enjoying shopping for tea sets!”

“Shut the fuck up,” she murmurs and I chuckle.

“Bye, love you!”

“Love you, too. Bye!”

I cut the call and look up at Benjamin. And he's not there. I blink at the spot he was at just a few seconds ago. 

Just as I step ahead someone pushes into me from behind. 

Woah!

I stagger forward but find my grip. The man walks past me and I whisper an apology. I was the one standing in the middle, talking on the phone. I shouldn't have, right?

He spares me a glance but doesn't stop. He keeps walking until I don't see him in the mix of people anymore. A big fat camera in his hand is the last thing I see before he disappears.

Wow. Okay.

“Are you alright?” The voice comes from my left and I cast a look to the left.

I nod and smile at the kind guy who asked me if I was alright. 

“The photographers are here to provide the reporters with the pictures of Benjamin's work.”

“What's the rush, then? Lol.” I smile at the handsome man. 

“I have no idea,” he chuckles.

“Are you coming, babe?” A girl, who's probably his girlfriend, comes really close to him and snakes an arm around his waist. 

“Oh yeah, let's go.” He kisses her temple and looks at me.  “Be careful. Good night!” He waves and I nod. “Good night!”

They leave.

His girlfriend didn't even look at me once. Wow. I mean I get it that your boyfriend is handsome, and a kind stranger but still! Look at me, I'm no threat!

Ugh.

I scratch my wrist and look around for Benjamin again. I start walking again and turn my back to look at where I just come from.

Where the fuck is he?

A black beanie catches my attention and I freeze in my steps. I quickly turn back around and just stare at the head. 

No….

Thousands of people wear beanies.

This is not him!

Curiosity gets the better out me and my feet automatically starts moving in the direction I came from. I see him, his back is to me. He has a green tshirt on, black are his trousers, and he has some kind of booklet in his hand. 

Surely he can't be the same guy from the garden?

He has silver earrings in his ears. Silver little hoops and, he also has a mask on. 

I'm standing just behind him now.

Should I ask him if he's the same guy from the garden?

If he's not, he'll just think that I'm a crazy girl who looks for guys she hasn't ever seen before in art galleries, right?

This is not a good idea.

My phone buzzes and a text dings on the screen.

Then two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

What the fuck???

It's Taeyon!

Six.

Seven!

I check the messages.

T: Hey!

T: Wanna study together?

T: Oh, and who are you going to your friend's wedding with?

T: Did you find the plus one?

T: I hope you did, but I just wanted to let you know that if you haven't, we can go together.

Oh God….

T: Anyway, so when are you coming home?

Home??? We don't live together!! He needs to stop talking like that!!!

T: It's okay if it'll take time for you to come back, I can wait.

The pain starts in the middle of my forehead. I'm frowning so hard. 

Why does he keep asking me about the plus one? He's been asking me about it ever since I told him about the wedding. Why oh whyyyy did I tell him about the wedding?

I don't want to go with him. 

I don't want to go with him!

“Excuse me? You're in my way.” A deep voice fills my ears and my frown disappears. I look up to find eyes gazing at me.

I blink. 

His. eyes. are. so. glittery.

My heart starts beating fast. 

He is wearing a black mask this time.  

And he seems confused. 

“You?” He asks me. “You're the same girl from Mrs. Campbell's garden, aren't you? Are you following me?” He takes a step back and puts his arms up in defence. His eyes are even wider now. 

I laugh. 

“What are you even doing here? And why would I follow you? Who are you?” I curl my lip up and ask him.

He slides his arms down and smiles behind the mask. “I was kidding.”

I roll my eyes and walk past him, and look at the painting he was staring at. 

He follows. “What do you mean what am I doing here? I love Benjamin's work.”

I should not look at him. I should not. Maybe then I'll speak in proper sentences. Why am I a little nervous suddenly?

“Do you  understand his art?” I ask, crossing my arms behind me.

He comes and stands by my side. We're only inches apart. He's taller than me. And even though I am not short, I still feel small beside him.

“I don't.” He laughs his cute little laugh.

He's so cute.

Woah woah  woah…

Calm down, missy. You still don't know anything about him.

“Same.” I turn my head to look at him. 

“But this one I-” he pauses when he moves his eyes to find mine already at him. We stare at each other for a couple of seconds. It feels good. To be standing so close to him. He smells like a cologne. And usually I hate strong scents but his is refreshing. He continues, “But... this one I understand. Look at the fish.”

I do so.

“It is so colourful, it represents nature. So does the tree and the branch.”

This is the same painting I was mulling over as if it were a puzzle. 

“But the fish is on a tree. So to me, it means finding what calls to you. Fishes should not be forced to climb trees. They've been made to swim and live in the deepest darkest oceans. Their whole world is different. But just because they can't climb a tree, you can't believe that they're useless. Or inferior. Or in simple words, just not worth it.”

My mouth curves in an ohhhhhhh and it dawns on me.

I start with my own theory.

“And this is why…..the blue around the eyes has changed into the colours of a world that the fish doesn't belong in…... And…”

I feel his eyes on me but I try hard to focus on the painting.

“Yeah?” He asks gently, and urges me to continue.

“And the fish thinks that it's her world because it is blue around her. That's what she's been made to think. Where she should be. Because that's where she thinks she belongs? Because the tree with its leaves, branches and the trunk, everything is blue.”

“She has been made to do something she was never born to do,” he concludes, eyes still on me.

I keep looking at the painting. Everything makes sense now. The poor fish. She wasn't supposed to be  there. Her eyes, they're not bright at all. They're lifeless.

“She seems dead,” I say. 

“You sound upset about it.” 

I cast a look at him. I notice that he's observing me. Well, atleast his eyes are…

“Do I?” 

He doesn't answer.

We don't speak. I don't want to. 

I feel warm. I don't know what this is. C-can I go even closer to him? We're already inches apart but I want to go closer. Does he feel the same?

What are you doing, Nia? You don't even know him.

I just know that he's really smart. But that's still not why I don't want to stop looking into his eyes. 

Well, you need to stop.

I gulp and sharply look back at the painting. 

“Well, uh. That was.. uh.. that was deep.”

“Kind of, yeah.” He says in a low tone and I close my eyes. 

Wow, even at a low pitch his voice is deep. And soothing.

My phone buzzes and I lift it in front of me. 

Benjamin! Finally!

I find the Bonsai guy beside me with his nose in the booklet. He turns a page, and he lip syncs every word he reads. He then dismisses it and turns the page.

“Hey,” I call him.

He looks up from the booklet.

“I uh, I need to go now. I'll see you later?” I chuckle. “I'm sure this is the last time we're meeting.” I bite my lip. 

I didn't know what to say! So I answered my own question. 

He doesn't say anything back. 

My heart dips. 

Please ask my number or something? Or atleast take off your mask? No wait, it doesn't matter if we're not going to meet ever again.

I sigh and look down at my phone. The cell phone has stopped ringing.

“Goodbye," he says, his voice playing a sad note.

Is he sad?

No… he isn't. If he still wanted me near him he wouldn't have said Goodbye.

I force a smile on my face. 

“Bye.” I wave begrudgingly.

I see my phone has stopped ringing.

I call back Benjamin and move away from the Bonsai guy.

My steps feel heavy. Why didn't he ask my name? Or phone number? He doesn't like me, that's why. 

Wait a second, you don't even know him.

Ohhhhhhh, shut the FUCK up with the you-don't-even-know-him bullshit! I'm tired of it!

“Hey!” Benjamin picks up his phone. “Where are you?”

“Uh…. near the casket-ish structure.”

Jesus. This structure looks like a casket but it's not on the ground. It's on…tilts. 

“Where are you?” I touch the casket, the surface is pretty smooth. I look down at the glass tilts in astonishment.

“No wait, I see you. I'm coming to you.”

I look away from the glass tilts and there is Benjamin, walking towards me. 

“Everything is so beautiful here. But the most beautiful painting was, ” I point behind me, “at the end of the hall. It was so gorgeous! The white painting!”.

“Well, hello to you too.” He smiles and hugs me. “And thank you for coming!”

Aww, he's so nice.

He moves back and grins. When I first saw him talking with other guests, he looked so poised and calm. But he's full on grinning now. 

“Thank you for inviting me. E and your parents must be so proud of you for this! Honestly, this is great.”

“Thank you. But I still can't believe that some super important people came today. I invited them but didn't think they'd come.” He throws his arm around my shoulder and we start strolling. “But they did! Miss. Maria Sherry is here,” he looks in a certain direction and I follow his gaze. 

Wow. Is that woman even real. She's a legendary singer and an actress! She also got an Emmy award for her performance in her latest show!

Daebak…

“And there is Kaan Ji-” 

“Hey, Benjamin!” We both see her personal assistant speed walking towards us. “Mr. Lee Taemin is here,” she says excitedly. 

“He's late,” says Benjamin. 

“But you have to meet him. We invited him." Her P.A says calmly.

“I know,” he mutters dryly.

“C'mon! Go!” I throw his arm away from my shoulder. “Quickly! I know he's someone important.”

“And a bit of an asshole too,” he retorts and his P.A gasps. Benjamin rolls his eyes. He then turns to me. “Nia, I'm so sorry, could you-”

“Actually? I have to meet my classmate today. I told him we'd study together. And I've been here for almost an hour so, I think I should go.” I hug him quickly and whisper yell, “Congratulations!!! You've done so well. I'm really proud of you. Enjoy your day and go back to E and then celebrate.” I move back and pat him on the shoulder.

“This is the second best thing a guest has said it to me today,” he said, his eyes almost teary. “The first thing was ‘I'm so proud of you, you'll get your reward when you come back home to me afterwards.'” He dramatically snakes his fingers down his chest. I slap my hands on my ears and close my eyes. 

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh you, brat!” I kick him lightly in the shin and he laughs. 

A look at his P.A says she's regretting working under Benjamin. Did E say what she did to Benjamin in front of her?

Aw man…

“Just go, okay? I'd like to take a leave now too.”

He bows respectfully.

“Thanks for coming. It meant a lot. Really. And Riya, could you please escort her out and make sure she gets a taxi?”

“Sure, Sir.” says Riya, relieved that she has something to do now.

Benjamin is so sweet, I'm so happy he's marrying my best friend. 

The world is perfect for some couples.

We hug again, and part ways. Riya escorts me out even though I tell her that she could stay and I'd get the taxi myself. 

For the last time I look over my shoulder before pushing the glass door, looking for the Bonsai guy. 

My eyes slide over the heads of people. I see no beanie.

With a sigh, I leave the venue and take a cab to home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked the chapter, please leave some feedback! It will help me improve the story! :)
> 
> It will also motivate me to keep writing :)
> 
> And thanks for reading uwu! 💜


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